Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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