she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
