hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
