Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
