I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
