$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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