Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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