and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
