You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
