Barsexuality is the new black.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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