Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
