Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Randomize
