we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
