dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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