I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
