I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
