come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This is classic penis vs brain.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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