I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
