just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
