Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
