): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize