yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
