called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize