was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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