your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
