fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I want her autograph on my taint
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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