I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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