i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
