he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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