We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I skipped work to stalk him.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
