your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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