yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize