i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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