Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
