I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize