You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
