Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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