So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
