Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
