don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
