My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
