No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I want a musical about memes.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
