I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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