ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
