this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
