Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
