I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
