How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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