I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
