Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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