so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
