Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
