Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
