I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
