too bad you live with your parents still
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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