Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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