Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My dad just said "fuck circus"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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