your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
