The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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