he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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