Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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