Yo dont text me then not text me
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
