i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
