We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
