fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
