Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize