yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
