Got a toothbrush?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
