i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
