Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
