I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
