so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
