fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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