glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
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