I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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