Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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