I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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