She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize