if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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